Friday, May 09, 2008

Personal Training

After 18+ years of training people, I have seen my fair share of "entertaining" situations. I have witnessed a few decent treadmill wipeouts, thankfully none that I personally caused. If you ever want to be entertained, give someone a physioball that has never used one and sit back and watch.

Lisa often brings up the funniest situation I have ever seen. She does so because it always gets me laughing uncontrollably. She brought it up recently, and I thought I'd write about it even though it will display a twisted sense of humor. But hey, I'll take one for the team because there are a few of you out there that I know will enjoy this story. Yes, that's you Molson.

About seven years ago, I was working with this nice woman. She was overweight and had bad knees, making it difficult to maneuver quickly, or even slowly. I brought her through a solid workout, and finished up with some assisted stretching. I then told her to take her time getting up. She rolled over onto her stomach and then got on all fours. This is where it gets interesting.

She had a large black standard poodle. I won't incriminate with names here and god I hope she never by chance happens to read my blog. If she does though, she has to realize the humor in this. That's how I justify telling the story.

Again, with the weight and bad knees, she moves very slow. While catching her breath on all fours and getting ready for the next move which I would guess is to get one leg under her so she could stand, her large standard male black poodle races up behind her. He then moves into position, front paws firmly on her upper back, and begins gyrating the hips faster than a jack hammer.

All this happened so fast yet lasted a lifetime. Me the idiot just stood there and watched. The right move might have been to yank the dog off of her but no, this was to good. Instead I was probably thinking "where's Baker with the video camera when you need him?!" She kept yelling "no" at the dog, but it kept going. That poodle is a stud!

I was trying so hard not to laugh that I was shaking and tears were in my eyes. She finally somehow got the dog off of her and we were going to do some upper body stretches while she was standing, but I couldn't stop laughing. I swear the poodle was smoking a cigarette in the corner afterwards. I finally just said to her, "listen, I think it's best if I go now."

For the next three or four days, I'd be working with a client, or at the grocery store, or out for a run, and just start laughing uncontrollably. In fact, to this day, I could think of that situation and just loose it. I know, not very mature, but I think most in this situation would have reacted just as I had. At least that's how I justify it.




mrpsam said...

You got me laughing -- what a sight that must have been.

triguyjt said...

that kinda sight is good for a laugh....ohh...just about ANY time your mind travels back to it...

bless you for the "no names" theory